Ugh. Today's a telephone day.

You'd think that with all my communication skills (look, I post all the time on Facebook and my blog, and I have the expensive piece of paper to prove that I'm allowed to be a journalist if I want to!), I'd be more fond of the telephone. And yet every month I save up all of my non-critical phone calls - scheduling appointments, checking on things, etc. - until it gets ridiculous and I finally handle them all at once. And 10 minutes later, I wonder why I put it off for so long, because it wasn't so bad ... a fact I conveniently forget next time I need to see if something is in stock at Home Depot.

Why do I do this to myself? It's not like I'm ALWAYS an uncommunicative hermit. There are some days when I talk nonstop to anyone and everyone. But other days I'm perfectly happy to sit there and grunt agreeably to whatever you say, as long as you don't make me hold up one end of the conversation. It's like I just can't handle - or be bothered to try - maintaining all the social niceties AND get my point across AND assimilate information AND make decisions. Rather than screw it up or offend someone, I prefer to be an audience for everyone else. My brain is wrapped in wool roving, and I just can't get it untangled enough to enjoy a conversation. I'll do it if I have to, but there are a lot of really unpleasant household chores I'd rather do instead.

Besides, it's so easy to get side-tracked, or to find (sometimes valid) excuses for why I can't make that phone call now. For example, I can't call about scheduling an appointment unless I've got something to write the date on and have access to my calendar, which is on my phone (hassle to check while using the phone) and my iPad (which I don't usually carry with me, since it weighs as much as a small cat). I won't bother calling to find out about replacing our snowblower until I know I've got someone home to help me hoist the broken one up into a truck to get it back to the store - because what's the point in knowing I COULD take it back today, but CAN'T because the thing weighs as much as a Yugo and I'm here by myself? And once I get started on other projects, before you know it, it will be after 5pm so I can't call the dentist, or after 9pm so I can't call Home Depot. See? Perfectly valid excuses ... at least the first few times I make them.

But Liza's cavity isn't going to get fixed unless I schedule her filling, and my crowns aren't going to magically appear in my mouth, either. The Snowblower Fairy isn't going to repair my machine for me, and several things need to get done on the Super Secret Birthday Event I'm planning for Jason later this month. The carpets need to cleaned of the final round of bodily fluids from the cat, and we had talked about hiring an electrician to install the lights I bought to finish off the front porch renovation. I've also got a couple of notes - real, handwritten notes - I need to write, which I've also been putting off so I might as well take care of them today, too.

So today I'll grit my teeth, pick up the phone, and make the calls.

Right after I finish my yoga ... and scrub the bathtub ... and do some laundry ...