Monday, December 30, 2013

Units of measure

Every group has its own lingo, its own shorthand way of referring to people, events, and memories. It's part of what binds us together, gives us an identity based on shared experiences. It's why "in jokes" develop among any group of people who are together for more than a few hours at a time and why it takes forever to feel like part of your in-laws' family at the Christmas dinner table.

Our family is no different, and we have our own language of pop culture references, old jokes, and reminders of shared events. For example, we have our own units of measurement:
A Jamaica - $6,000
Nippley - chilly, probably less than 50F
Brrrr-cheees - cold, probably around freezing
Brrrr-chissimo - really freaking cold
Hamster - the average amount of hair I have to rinse out of my butt crack each time I wash my hair
Ferret - the amount of hair I had to rinse out of my butt crack each time I washed my hair for a year after Liza was born
Buttload - a lot of something
Assload - a whole lot of something
Metric fuck-ton - way too much of something
42 - the answer to any unsolved numerical question 

We also have a bunch of shorthand phrases one or more of us use around the house:

Chicken butt - the only appropriate answer to the question, "Guess what?"
Test tiiiiiiiiiime! - the only appropriate answer to the question, "What time is it?"
Sparklepuppy - a term of endearment
Cheese-wine bake and/or hockey puck steaks - standard of comparison for awful meals
Brie lasagna - standard of comparison for boneheaded mistakes
Blue Cool Whip - standard of comparison for overreaction
Austin - generically funny addition to almost any conversation in which Liza is participating (ex.: "I hear loom bands are really popular in Austin, too.")

And don't get me started on the words I've made up over the years (I think I've covered them in a post a few years back, let me see...yep, in 2007: ). So how about you guys? What words or phrases have unique meanings at your house? Share 'me in the comments - let's see what you've got!

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