Today I looked in the mirror and found a new mole on my face. It wasn't there yesterday, but today - bam! Mole!
I tried to wash it off. I poked it to make sure it wasn't an unusual pimple. I scratched at it. I asked my family to confirm that I wasn't imagining things, it really wasn't there yesterday (it wasn't).
I searched for "mole appeared on face overnight." I looked at photos of fatal skin cancers. I looked up the phone number for my mother's dermatologist.
And then I said fuck it and went to bed.
The End (I hope)