Monday, January 03, 2011

That's a big Twinkie.

The other night I watched Ghost Busters for the first time in years, and I was really surprised by a couple of things.


1. Aside from some occasional crap-tastic special effects, you can't tell this movie was made more than 25 years ago. Okay, okay, the actors look really young (especially since I just saw the modern-day Bill Murray in Zombieland a couple of weeks ago), and Dana's wardrobe and interior decorating style scream 1985, but other than that, it's a solid movie.

vs.


2. Does anyone else find it creepy that Dr. Venkman happened to be carrying 300 cc. of Thorazine with him to his date with Dana?
3. Even after all these years, Jason and I each remember startlingly large portions of the movie, word-for-word. I guess it wasn't just me and my friends who spent our formative years quoting it at each other.  Some of my favorites:


Dr. Peter Venkman: [to librarian Alice] Are you currently menstruating? 
Library Administrator: What has that got to do with anything? 
Dr. Peter Venkman: Back off man, I'm a scientist. 



Dr. Peter Venkman: I'm studying the effect on negative reinforcement on ESP ability.
Male Student: [Aggravated] Effect? I'll tell you the effect is, it's pissing me off! 



Dr. Peter Venkman: [after capturing Slimer] We came, we saw, we've kick its ass. 


Dr. Peter Venkman: oh, wait, wait, i've always wanted to do this! and...
[he yanks the tablecloth off of one of the tables, upsetting and breaking everything except a vase of flowers on the center of the table]
Dr. Peter Venkman: [shouting while offscreen] the flowers are still standing! 



Gozer: [after Ray orders her to re-locate] Are you a God?
[Ray looks at Peter, who nods]
Dr Ray Stantz: No.
Gozer: Then... DIE!
[Lightning flies from her fingers, driving the Ghostbusters to the edge of the roof and almost off; people below scream]
Winston Zeddemore: Ray, when someone asks you if you're a god, you say "YES"!
Dr. Peter Venkman: All right! This chick is TOAST! 



Dr. Peter Venkman: This city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions.
Mayor: What do you mean, "biblical"?
Dr Ray Stantz: What he means is Old Testament, Mr. Mayor, real wrath of God type stuff.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Exactly.
Dr Ray Stantz: Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling!
Dr. Egon Spengler: Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes...
Winston Zeddemore: The dead rising from the grave!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!
Mayor: All right, all right! I get the point! 



Dr. Peter Venkman: Someone blows their nose and you want to keep it? 


Dr. Peter Venkman: Hee hee hee! "Get her!" That was your whole plan, huh, "get her." Very scientific. 


Dr. Peter Venkman: Mother pus bucket! 


Dr Ray Stantz: Symmetrical book stacking. Just like the Philadelphia mass turbulence of 1947.
Dr. Peter Venkman: You're right, no human being would stack books like this. 



Dr Ray Stantz: Listen... do you smell something? 


Dr. Peter Venkman: No, no. Just asking. Are you, Alice, menstruating right now?
Library Administrator: What's has that got to do with it?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Back off, man. I'm a scientist. 





Janine Melnitz: I've quit better jobs than this.
[answers phone]
Janine Melnitz: Ghostbusters, what do you want? 


[a giant marshmallow man crashes through the streets of New York]
Dr. Peter Venkman: Well, there's something you don't see every day. 

[in front of the library ghost, their first ghost sighting]
Dr. Peter Venkman: So... what do we do?
[Egon and Ray stare at each other in silence. Peter grabs Ray's ear]
Dr. Peter Venkman: Would you come over here, please? That's it, c'mere Francine. What do we do?
[Egon pulls out a calculator and starts punching in numbers. Peter slaps the machine out of Egon's hand]
Dr. Peter Venkman: STOP THAT! 

Dr. Egon Spengler: [about the storage facility] Wow, its getting crowded in there and these readings point to something big on the horizon.
Winston Zeddemore: What do you mean big?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Well,
[shows a twinkie]
Dr. Egon Spengler: let's say this twinkie represents all of the psycho kenetic energy in the New York area. According to this morning's sample it will be a twinkie, 35 feet long and weighing approximately 600 pounds.
[Ray coughs, in disbelief]
Winston Zeddemore: That's a big twinkie. 

And my personal favorite, the quote that will live on forever in the minds of junior high school kids who can only get away with cursing by quoting a movie...
Dr. Peter Venkman: Yes it's true.
[pause]
Dr. Peter Venkman: This man has no dick. 

1 comment:

Michael said...

Sadly, I can visualize the scenes and hear the voices as I read each of these vignettes.

You forgot the cry of "I've been slimed!"