G: If you want comforting bedtime reading, don't look up Norovirus on Google.
J: What's neurovirus?
G: Norovirus - you know, the stomach flu I've had since Monday night? Turns out I'll be contagious for at least 3 days after my symptoms are gone ... Or as long as two weeks. So don't piss me off or I'll sneak into the guest room and lick your face while you sleep.
J: (shuts bedroom door in my face and bolts it behind him)
Guess it's gonna be up to me to Clorox the living shit out of the house in a few days ... And here I had just changed the sheets on Sunday, too.