I wanted to thank you for producing such a uniquely designed product as your Prospect Adjustable Highback Booster car seat. Here are just a few of the features I really have come to appreciate over the few weeks we've been using your product:
- I love how the entire seat must be removed from the car in order to remove the pad to clean up spills. All the time I spend wrestling that thing in and out of the backseat of my car would otherwise be spent doing frivolous things, like playing with my daughter, so thanks for saving me from myself.
- It's so innovative that you designed it so the entire booster seat must be disassembled in order to remove the pad for cleaning. And it's so easy to remove the entire back assembly - I've only broken three fingernails doing it this week. And the fact that all of the straps have to be unthreaded in order to remove the pad - what a design feature! And those little plastic thingamabobs that keep the straps in place under the seat are so cute ... at least I think they are, but since I keep losing them every time I take the seat apart, I'm just working from memory here.
- And who came up with the idea to have the seatback pad overlap the seat pad enough that any diaper leaks or potty training accidents automatically soil both pads? And you also designed the seat to funnel all liquids right out the gap in the back and into the crevice between the car's seat and backrest ... how did you ever think of that?!? I'm getting so good at jamming my hand down into an opening that's 1/2" tall in order to sop up urine, I hardly ever lose (much) skin off my hands anymore ... and my car only smells faintly of pee!
Listen, fuckwits, a booster seat that's designed for a child weighing between 22 and 100 pounds is going to require a lot of cleaning. Even once the kid is past bottles and leaky diapers, there's still potty training and wet swimsuits and muddy shoes and clothes and vomit and about 45 other things I've cleaned off of car seats in the past three years. Would it have been so terribly difficult to design a seat which contains the mess and which doesn't have to be uninstalled or disassembled or unthreaded in order to be cleaned? No, it wouldn't, because infant carseats are virtually all designed that way.
I'd like a refund for the money that your shoddy design has caused me to spend on a waterproof seat protector to put down under the booster seat - that's $20. And I'd like remuneration for all the time I waste messing around with your poorly designed piece of crap every time my daughter doesn't tell me she needs to pee. Given prevailing wages and the amount of time it takes me to uninstall the seat, unthread the straps, take apart the seat, remove the cushion, clean up the spill on the car seat, and put the whole thing back together once the load of laundry is done, I figure you owe me about $10 per occurrence. Since she's relapsed on the potty training, that means you're up to about $200 for that, too.
Please contact me at your earliest convenience to arrange for payment. Thanks, and have a great day, you thoughtless bastards!
Sincerely,
Your Customer
1 comment:
The check is in the mail.
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