Dilemma

One of the things I struggle with when it comes to writing here is making the decision about exactly how much to share. Because I spend so much time writing this blog, I don't keep a separate personal journal anywhere else. So in some ways I use this blog like a diary ... but there are things I can write in a diary that I'm not necessarily comfortable sharing with strangers, much less people who know me and might be offended if they knew exactly what I thought about things they had done or said.

So far I've erred on the side of caution, trying to make sure that I don't write anything that could offend a friend or family member (strangers, you're on your own). But that means that I have several very funny stories and sardonic comments that I can't share because I know one of the participants would be upset if they saw my reaction to the situations. In some cases I've just avoided writing altogether for a few days because I knew I would be too tempted to talk about whatever topic I'd internally declared off-limits ... or I couldn't come up with anything that was as good as I thought the forbidden topic would be.

It makes me a little uncomfortable to censor myself that way - in a lot of other areas of my life I tend to say what I think, regardless of other people's feelings. (That could be why I don't have a ton of friends ... ) But I know that face-to-face communications are easier to interpret than written ones, especially when it comes to touchy subjects. If I say something to my mother and tick her off, I can tell right away and mollify her if I choose. If I write something in my blog about something idiotic a friend said, she won't know whether I'm being serious or just going for a laugh, and I won't know if she's offended unless she comes out and tells me.

What I've been trying to do is use dooce.com as a guide for how to handle the situation with at least a measure of grace. As far as Heather is concerned, anything she, her husband or her daughter says or does is up for grabs as blog material, but she's much more careful when writing about her family and friends. Apparently she offended some family members with a post a few years ago, and she's learned from her mistakes.

I think I'll learn from her mistakes, too, because I certainly don't want to piss off any of my loyal readers. Here's the deal - if I have to talk about anyone other than Jason and Liza, either I'll word the story so that even you probably won't recognize yourself in it, or I'll see if I can make it obvious that I'm lovingly teasing you, not bitching about your behavior.

If anyone has any thoughts on how they think I should handle the balancing act between full disclosure and not offending anyone unless I mean to, stick it in the comments section here. I'd love to hear from you!