Sunday, April 23, 2006

Mistress of Death

Last year I embarked on part two of my Ivy Eradication Campaign, which was necessitated by the previous owners ideas that English ivy, Virginia creeper and vinca were all cute little plants, even when they developed stems thicker than my thumb and took over one whole wall of the outside of the house. Eradication involved lots of crawling around on my hands and knees (while 8 and 9 months pregnant) pulling bushels of vines, then hosing down the pulled areas with Roundup. I am pleased to report that I only had to hunt down and slaughter a handful of volunteers in those areas this year - hurray for herbicides and stubbornness!

Ivy and other vicious creeping plants virtually eliminated from the front of the house, it's time to begin eliminating some of the other invasive things that neighbors seem to think are fine to use as ground cover, things like "ground ivy":

Ground ivy roots at each joint whenever it touches the soil, thus making it difficult to hand pull. Ground ivy is hard to control because you can't pull it out easily in lawns and many commercial broadleaf lawn weed killers have little or no effect on it. Preemergence herbicides do not control ground ivy, accordingly, we are left with postemergence controls.

taken from: http://www.american-lawns.com/problems/weeds/ground_ivy.html
Translation: My wonderful next-door neighbor, who has allowed the ground ivy to take over her entire yard in lieu of a lawn, has doomed me to years of pulling this stuff out of my flower beds, lawn, and rock walls, one stupid inch-long segment at a time. Despite the web site's insistence that most herbicides don't do diddly to this stuff, I've found that liberal doses of Roundup - and I do mean liberal - manage to hold it at bay, even if they don't completely eliminate it.

What this means from a practical point of view is that, in the last year, I have gone through more than one gallon of Roundup. This week I ran out and bought a new container, and boy, am I glad I did. They've changed the applicator, changed the formula, and I've got to tell you, I like what they've done. The applicator now lets you spray continuously for about 30 seconds, rather than having to keep squirt squirt squirting ... my fingers approve of the change. And the new formula is definitely improved - some of the clover had a definite case of malaise within 45 minutes of being sprayed, and almost everything I hit is looking pretty peaked today. This stuff kicks some serious weedy ass:

http://www.roundup.com/index.cfm/event/ProductGuide.product/documentId/cf65a2d092decdd8b243335354ac01c9

I spent a couple of hours yesterday spraying anything I couldn't identify as a plant I had approved for use in the yard. Ground ivy - inundated! English ivy invading over our back fence - hosed down! Stupid spring-loaded yarrow plants that my application of last year's Roundup left unfazed - saturated! Dandelions - liberally spritzed! Bamboo that's creeping into the shady perennial garden I tried to start last year - soaked! I was cackling with glee as I sprayed toxic chemicals over any and all plants I couldn't identify ... it was so much more fun than actually weeding!

At one point I told Jason that the only way I could become a more efficient Mistress of Death is if the sucker came with a firehose attachment ... oh, what I would give for that to be available. Oh, wait, it already is: http://www.roundup.com/index.cfm/event/ProductGuide.product/documentId/1f0599a0e7c8f7a03ac3ebb833d47639

Do you think they make one that comes as a backpack, maybe with a flamethrower attachment for those really tough jobs? Because I've got a row of yew bushes with a price on their heads at the back of my yard ...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Make certain that you plant something where you've killed the unwanted plants. The best way to avoid weeds is to have something else growing where the weed wants to be. Nature abhors a vacuum in the garden.