Celebrating every March crafty holiday simultaneously

• I don't remember dyed eggs being this bright when I was a kid. Have they improved the dye, or was I just too impatient as a kid to let the suckers sit in the dye for more than 2.5 seconds? These took a good two minutes a piece, I'd say, and I think they were worth it. And Little Miss Likes To Prod And Stir Things was fine with letting them sit in the dye, as long as I let her move them around once in a while.
• Dying raw eggs - totally better than dying hardboiled eggs, especially since nobody in our house eats boiled eggs on anything other than an occasional salad. I didn't even scrub them off, just threw them right from the box into the dye, and I didn't hover over the kid to make sure she didn't stir them too hard. The only one that cracked was the one she tried to use a crayon on, which I don't find surprising given her ability to punch a hole through our dining room table with those waxy little devils.
• When my daughter accidentally cracks an egg, and I decide to use it to make her an egg burrito for lunch, and she's all excited because the egg will be green, and then she's all disappointed because the egg isn't green on the inside, DO NOT, under ANY circumstances, use food coloring to dye the eggs green. At least not on a day when she's got a cold and REALLY wants an egg burrito. After 45 minutes of screaming and crying and rending of garments and hitting and snotting and did I mention the screaming? she finally allowed as how she would eat the rest of her meal if I got the hideous green-filled burrito off of her plate. And then she had trouble getting the peanut butter to stick to her apple slices, which led to another 25 minutes of screaming and crying and hitting and throwing and rending and snotting and screaming, did I mention the screaming? And then she came back and ate the remaining two slices of apple, which I had practically superglued peanut butter onto, and decided that the half of a TastyKake I offered her wasn't sufficient, she had to have the whole one (no matter how much I love her, I will NEVER give her the last TastyKake in the house - there are some lines I will not cross), leading to another 25 minutes of screaming and throwing and hitting and snotting and did I mention the screaming was so bad I called Jason at work so he could experience it firsthand? In case you're counting, I basically had two straight hours of tantrum, during which time I had to eat my lunch, blow the kid's nose 40 times, and attempt to retain both my hearing and my sanity. Apparently my daughter is attempting to cram her entire quotient of Terrible Two-ness into the month remaining in that age. Mom, feel free to send along that bottle of Jim Beam I left on the kitchen counter at your place when we left on Sunday - I think it's going to come in handy.

Well, I'm off to work on the taxes and stab myself in the eyeballs with lemon-pepper-encrusted sharp sticks because, you know, I need to do something fun after this morning.