what I did on my summer vacation

One red-and-white dishcloth, one pair of toddler socks, 2/3rds of a toddler sock, one adult sock, and seven balls of chenille yarn wound from 4' pieces I bought dirt cheap several years ago.

That's what happens when you give me four hours riding in a car, several hours of downtime at a hotel, and a dozen hours of roleplaying games at a gaming convention - I knit. A lot. Most of the gamers didn't mind, except for the guy I beat at Munchkin while turning the heel on the adult sock ... he looked pissed.

Games played this weekend:
Dread, a roleplaying game where characters are described in words (rather than statistics), and success depends on whether you can take a turn at Jenga without toppling the tower. Sounds stupid, but it's the most fun I've had roleplaying. Anytime I get to backstab my fellow gamers, intimidate a police officer, and get away with $300,000 in loot from a bank heist, I'm happy.

Kobolds Ate My Baby, a silly roleplaying game in which you try to steal as many babies for King Torg (All hail King Torg!) as you can, while dying a senseless death, coming back from the dead because you gave a great final soliloquy, upping your chances of success by barking like a kobold better than the last guy who cheated that way, and then dying again because somebody said "King Torg" (All hail King Torg!) and you forgot you have to shout out the stuff in parentheses if anyone says that name. We were playing in a session designed to teach us how to play the game, and it was hilarious. The scenario involved us trying to steal lunches from kids on a playground, but degenerated into one guy trying to ride an elephant to trample the kids, while another hid behind a bush and conked kids on the head with a sock full of rocks and then ate the kids, leaving the lunches behind. I spent most of my time on the run from the other kobolds because I ended up with the dreaded "tastes like baby" characteristic, so any time they got near me the other folks would try to eat me. And I lost my only weapon, a spork, when I grabbed one of the lunches early in the game. Confused yet? Don't be - it's just that silly.

A Buffy: The Vampire Slayer roleplaying game that wasn't that great, except as an opportunity to listen to Matt's sad excuse for a British accent.

Apples to Apples, Blink, EcoFluxx, and Munchkin - all board games I think I've talked about before. You must own these games. Go buy them now.

And, of course, we watched the Smithees, the convention's annual review of the crummiest movies of all time. And since this was the 15th anniversary of the award, we got to see the Mega Meta Smithees, which pitted the "winners" from the past five years up against each other. Oh, the swinging kitty love. Oh, the 10-minute film endings which show flashbacks of the entire movie ... out of order. Oh, the OB-GYN-cam. Oh, the white supremecist pseudo-nuns on rollerblades who have bizarre lesbian hot tub religious ceremonies. Oh, the crumminess.