He's threatening to grow a beard again, folks. I had him for a while - people who work in jobs that require respirators (even occasionally) aren't allowed to grow any sort of facial hair because it interferes with the seal. But now that he's a manager in the paint brush and roller cover (and ridiculously expensive but really nice dropcloth) division, he doesn't have to wear a respirator. Ever.
So before things get out of hand, I'd just like to remind the world why my husband, Jason T. Woods, should not grow a beard.
That is, he's got weird bald spots, and he never trims it so he ends up looking like Marty Stouffer, that guy who used to host Wild America (sorry, it was the best photo I could find on short notice). Plus it gives me rugburn when he kisses me.
Corollary: My husband should also not wear acid-washed jeans shorts, or fall asleep when his girlfriend (now wife) has a camera handy, even if it's 1996 and you've only been dating for like two months and you're working in a potato shed 14 hours a day over the summer to pay for college.
Just remember, dear - if you stop shaving, so do I. And while I'll admit my razor hasn't seen as much action as you'd like this summer, trust me - my legs and armpits can get a whole lot worse, and I could use the extra insulation this winter. You have been warned.