Excerpt

Verbatim transcript of the computer-voiced script I heard when I punched a wrong button while on the phone with my insurance company:

"Hmmm, that information doesn't match my records. Please re-enter your eight-digit policy number. ... And your zip code again?"

Since when do computers say "hmmm?" What's next?

"Listen, doofus, pay attention and hit the right keys this time, or I'll cancel your insurance and convince your DSL to run slower than your mother-in-law's dial-up."